


Questions and Occurrences

by Causteek



Category: Merlin - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-10
Updated: 2011-06-10
Packaged: 2017-10-26 09:48:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 66
Words: 10,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/281599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Causteek/pseuds/Causteek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>True Merlin Drabbles </p><p>Crossposted from ff.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Merlin, what are you running from?

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Merlin, what are you running from?" A response/sequel to Kitty O's Underestimated drabble Unreliable.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

Gwen was laid in bed with a broken ankle when she finally asked.

"Merlin, what are you running from?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're running from something, always have been. At least since I've known you. What is it, Merlin? What has you so afraid that you're running from yourself all the time?"

"I'm not sure what you mean, running. I'm right here. What would I have to run from?"

"That's what I'd like to know."

Merlin turned away from her looking sad. He turned his head back sadly.

"I think you should get some rest Gwen."

* * *

A/N: This is a response to Kitty O's Underestimated drabble Unreliable. I wanted to know what would happen when Gwen finally asked because we know she's polite but she's also only human. :) But I fear it may have started something. D: I want to write more like this! Must... write...


	2. Merlin, what are you running from?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Merlin, what are you running from?"

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

"So… Emrys huh? Tha's interestin'."

Merlin gave his captor an incredulous look.

"So I guess we should, I dunno." The man blushed, "Let ya go or somethin'?"

Merlin turned his head to look at his other kidnappers with a look that clearly said, 'He's lost his mind.' The result was even more blushing bandits all staring at the ground like chastised children.

Minutes later his bonds had been released and the leader coughed before letting out a bashful, "So, guess we'll jus' be goin' then."

Then they left. Merlin looked around in disbelief and asked.

"What the hell just happened?"

* * *

A/N: I completely blame Kitty O and Ultra-Geek for this! The drabble bug finally caught me D: So I guess you'll be seeing more of this. Next Chapter you'll find out what the hell this one was about. Maybe...


	3. So, tha's not Prince Arthur?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary:"So, tha's not Prince Arthur?"

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

Merlin watched, amused.

"So, tha's not Prince Arthur?"

Gillian rubbed his face in frustration.

"NO, you bumbling idiot that is NOT Prince Arthur Pendragon."

"But he has the blue eyes, and all those knights were protectin' 'im."

It was at this point their "druid advisor" (read: resident freeloader) came out of his tent having just woken and promptly began screaming his lungs out.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE THE GREAT AND MIGHTY EMRYS TIED TO A TREE? ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US OBLITERATED?"

Upon hearing the name Emrys, most everyone hid.

Gillian turned to face the tree.

"So... Emrys, huh?"

* * *

A/N: So this kind of... got away from me. I feel like I need to do a prologue to the prologue. But I have several others to put up I do another part to this later.


	4. So where does the goat come in again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "So where does the goat come in again?" Gwaine has a plan. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

"So where does the goat come in again?"

Gwaine let out a long suffering sigh and gave Leon a look that said he was an idiot if he hadn't gotten it by now.

"I've told you, it's the bribe."

"To... get Merlin a girlfriend?"

"Exactly!"

"Which we need to do… because?"

"He's obviously lonely, just look at him!"

Leon glanced over to where the servant was teasing their Prince with a grin. The boy looked anything but lonely. He guessed it could be valid, not.

Elyan raised his hand before asking, "So, what do we do with all the shrubberies?"

* * *

A/N: Yeah that was a purposeful jab at Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I was watching it the other day and (OMG 0.0 GREAT IDEA! So be expecting another sometime soon) I had to write this (Now I'm all excited about the one to come!) Double update today I think I might follow Ultra-Geek's example and try to do 100 of these but who knows. I'm not commiting to anything yet.


	5. So, you knew this was going to happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "So, you knew this was going to happen?" Lancelot tells Merlin about "the affair." The response he gets isn't what he expected.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine. I also don't own Spamalot but I do own the soundtrack.

Warning: If you haven't seen Spamalot go look up the song Lancelot and watch it. Suddenly this will make a lot more sense.

* * *

Merlin has visions of the future. Soon and of hundreds of years away. All these fantastic creations (planes they called them, he'd like to know exactly how those flew without magic) and people and most of all the retellings of their story.

He had even seen that Lancelot would be coming today to ask his advice about his illicit affair with the Queen.

"So, you knew this was going to happen?"

"Yeah."

"What kept you from killings us both?"

"The fact that one day, there will be an entire song dedicated to you 'batting for the other team'."

"...What?"

"Nothing."

* * *

A/N: So this is what I was talking about in my last Drabble. I quite like it actually. :) More to come!


	6. Am I boring you with this life or death?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Am I boring you with this life or death situation, Merlin?" Because even Merlin can't pay attention to Gaius' lectures all the time.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: I don't knoow what this was. *shifty eyes* Oh well. So I'm leaving for my grandparents anniversary and can only hope that there will be internet. Sorry! But the documents are already uploaded and ready to go. I just have to post them.

* * *

"MERLIN."

Abruptly, Merlin jumped awake where he was sitting at Gaius' work bench listening to the man explain what a Anka did. It didn't seem like too bad a creature, just a giant bird that hadn't done anyone any harm except scaring a few locals. Then again he had faced down a bloody dragon, not much was impressive anymore.

"I'm sorry. Am I boring you with this life or death situation, Merlin?"

"Not at all, Gaius. I was just concentrating and trying to really _soak up_ the information."

Gaius' eyebrow went higher than ever before and Merlin's answering grin brightened.


	7. Have you ever loved someone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Have you ever loved someone?" Arthur wants to know more about Merlin's past. The answer isn't a happy one.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N:ANGSTY but it was what came out. I love Merlin/Freya with a passion. They were beautiful for a one episode couple. I'm a shipper what can I say?

* * *

"Have you ever loved someone?"

Arthur didn't turn from his place at the window but he watched form the corner of his eye as Merlin froze, eyes wide in the middle of smoothing his new sheets. An unfamiliar emotion passed over his manservant's face. Arthur didn't know what it was but it certainly wasn't happiness.

"Yes."

"What happened to her?"

"She's gone. She... She was killed."

Arthur didn't let the shock show on his face, a lifetime of court training keeping him from showing the sadness he felt for the boy.

"I'm sorry."

Merlin went back to work in silence.


	8. You're drunk, aren't you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "You're drunk, aren't you?" Arthur has to pick up Gwaine and Elyan at the tavern. It's not pleasant.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: We're traveling today so I won't be able to reply to reviews right away but it does mean I'll get some writing done!

* * *

"You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Yep! *hic*"

"You realize that Gwen is going to skin you both alive, right?"

"MAAAYbe."

*sigh*.

"Hey Artie, oh that's funny Artie.*giggles*"

"Don't call me that."

"But i's FUN, Princess. Oh, Princess Artie, wanted to... Wha' rhymes with Artie?"

"I dunno, whatcha lookin' a' me fr."

"I didn't understand half that sentence, Elyan. You need to get home while you can."

"Aw, Artie don' ruin the party. HA! Artie party!"

"I told you to quit calling me that. I'll see you both at dawn tomorrow for training."

"Princess Artie liked to farty and ruin the party!"


	9. Do you think they'll be okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Do you think they'll be okay?" A moment between best friends as the knights leave for battle.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Sorry it's later in the day than usual. I'm home and the internet sucks here. *pout*

* * *

"Do you think they'll be okay?"

Gwen sat on the steps with Merlin, looking at him hopefully as they watched the official Knights of the Round Table leave to hunt down the feral beast that had already killed several villagers near the border.

Merlin glanced at her before replying.

"I'm sure they'll be fine Gwen. They are rough, tough save the world types after all."

Gwen glanced over at her best friend as she gave him a shove.

"You're never going to let that go are you?"

But inside she couldn't help but feel grateful for her friend's distraction.

"Never."


	10. And why, exactly, should I let you live?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "And why, exactly, should I let you live?" He wouldn't take the chance that the traitor had meant well. It couldn't be worth it.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

Warnings: Angst and major character death.

A/N: Yeah, inspiration struck and I'm not really sure what happened. (-_-') I really wanted to stress how it was Arthur and Merlin saving each other and without one the other really wouldn't make it for long. I can't believe I managed to kill them both in the same drabble as my first main character death. *facepalm*

* * *

Uther stared down at the sorcerer in the way he knew was menacing.

"And why, exactly, should I let you live?"

The boy, _scum_ he had appointed as his son's manservant. He should have known better.

"Because, sire, I have saved you and your son's life more times than I care to count."

Lies. That was all that would spill from the wicked _thing_. Lies.

"You will burn at the stake for your trickery."

The next day, Uther locked his son in his room and burned the traitor.

Two days later, Arthur died in an assassination plot without his protector.


	11. Why don't you sing something else?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Why don't you sing something else?" The court minstrels introduce the ballad of Sir Robin. This one is for you Dawn that Shines.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine. And I don't own the "Ballad of Sir Robin" it belongs to the owners of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Spamalot.

A/N: I sat down and had too. This all your fault Dawn that Shines. I hope you like it. We're gonna call this one a special little tag on for today because I really want to post this today.

* * *

"To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away;  
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!"

The court stared at the minstrels.

"His head smashed in and his heart cut out  
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged"

"Alright! That's enough."

Arthur couldn't believe the minstrels had written this.

" _What_ was that?"

"The ballad of Sir Robin, my liege."

Arthur looked over to see the other knights and Merlin trying to subtly cover up laughter over the white faced Sir Robin.

"Why don't you sing something else?"

The court continued to snicker the entire feast.


	12. Merlin, scary?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Merlin, scary?" Merlin is the only one who can get in and out of the enemy castle. Now if they can only convince Arthur.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: This is a two parter just in case your curious. Don't really know where this came from but oh well.

* * *

"Merlin, scary?"

Arthur was skeptical. Gwen knew she would have to tell him if she wanted him to agree with the knights' plan. Merlin was the only one who could pull this off and they all knew it.

"Merlin can be down right frightening if you give him a reason."

All heads snapped over to look at her.

"Last time Lord Aldor was in Camelot, he tried to… proposition me rather forcefully. Merlin found us and well… the look on his face alone. There's a reason Lord Aldor hasn't come back."

Arthur seemed to consider this before nodding.

"What happened?"


	13. What happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "What happened?" Merlin is the only one who can get in and out of the enemy castle. Now if Gwen can only convince Arthur.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Here's part two! Double update just to keep the story together. Before anyone says anything, I really think Merlin could be terrified if you tried to hurt his friends.

* * *

"What happened?"

"Merlin found Lord Aldor with his hand on my arm, he got frustrated with me and squeezed too hard. Next thing I know Merlin has Lord Aldor by the scruff and is whispering something into his ear."

They all glanced at Merlin skeptically.

"I don't know what Merlin said but the Lord stood there and… wet himself before fleeing."

Merlin was a sweet person, there was something wrong about the thought of Merlin scaring someone so much that they pissed themselves. Then Arthur spoke up.

"Either way I still don't like it. Merlin going in there without backup."


	14. Who wants a drink?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Who wants a drink?" It's the night of Arthur's coronation and Merlin's appointment as Court Sorcerer.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: I'm on an angsty roll here. the next batch are pretty lighthearted! Sorry!

* * *

"Who wants a drink?"

It started as a light hearted night, but only went downhill from there. Gwaine, being Gwaine, had proposed a drinking game. Never have I ever with a twist, think of the worst things you can think of, oh and Merlin no secrets here.

Then Merlin kept taking shot after shot. Arthur watched as the fact of just how awful his new court sorcerer's life had really been.

By the end, Merlin was completely sloshed having had to take just about every shot and the knights and their king could hardly stand to look at their sorcerer.


	15. Merlin's been captured by our maidserva?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Merlin's been captured... by our maidservants?" Arthur should really learn to fear women more.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Merlin is the kind of person people dote on. I know I would. the poor dear.

* * *

"Merlin's been captured... by our maidservants?"

Gaius gave him 'the eyebrow,' obviously not finding the situation hilarious as Arthur did.

"Yes, Sire. I need him back and those _harpies_ are impossible to reason with!"

Arthur was baffled at how the man could be serious about something so absurd. They were just a group of gaggling women. Nothing to fear.

Half an hour later, he regretted ever thinking such a thought.

"No, Sire. You may not 'have him back.' Merlin is far too thin and he has bruises from your 'throwing goblets.'"

 _Retreat._


	16. No holding back, got it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "No holding back, got it?" Arthur WILL get his manservant back from the maidservants.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Double update because it's FRIDAY! And we wanted a part two to the one this morning. And to answer a question by Kitty O, kind of. This was sorta inspired by the same prompt as Ultra-Geek's Bandit series, but since I prompted it I'm calling this an original.

* * *

"Okay so we go in strong and fast. No holding back, got it?"

Young Sir Bedivere gave a very confused look to his prince.

"But sire, they're just the maidservants. Surely we can ask them to give your manservant back. You are the prince. I don't see why we have to plan a full on attack."

His Prince gave a dangerous look.

"I already tried that."

The five other knights gave each other doubtful looks.

When they stormed the room the saw Merlin sat pitifully in the room being mothered.

The women had the frying pans out.

"RETREAT!"

They ran.


	17. Who was she to destroy the innocence of?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Who was she to destroy the innocence of now?" Camelot would like her say.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Hi! How are you guys? This one is neither sad nor funny but I like it.

* * *

Camelot gave a sigh. The earth moved and rocked and spun beneath her. The day was beginning and she decided to look in on her favorite people. Her chosen ones, as she called them. And really did they need any other name?

This group of silly young things that would one day bring about her golden era. so caught up in the troubles of now. Yet, it made her happy that they were still so untroubled. In little time they would bring her to her peak and then crumble with her.

Who was she to destroy the innocence of now?


	18. So you're stalking him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "So you're... stalking him?" Bradley was right. Vivian is hiding in the bushes.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: This is my baby, be kind. I love this drabble. I was watching the interview where Bradley says that Vivian is hiding in the bushes and this was born. Sorry it's late in the day, our internet is wonky.

* * *

Vivian peeked out from behind her bush.

"There, Slag. There he is, my love." Vivian abruptly swooned in place and Slag (who's real name was Robert), was forced to catch her before she hit the ground.

"My lady, why are we here?"

"To watch him of course!"

"So you're... stalking him?"

"No, you idiot. I'm admiring him from afar."

Slag began to mumble to himself about crazy Princesses who ran of from home to stalk Princes and whilst dragging poor stable boys behind.

"Isn't he just _wonderful_?"

"Of course, my lady."

Vivian didn't notice the sarcasm as she swooned, _again_.


	19. Did it get stuck like that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Did it get stuck like that?" If you're not careful, it'll freeze that way.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.\

A/N: I did some editing. I wanted to make it more obvious what happened to it.

* * *

"Did it get stuck like that?"

"Yes." It looked a little awkward to Merlin. Morgana looked like she was trying to grimace but couldn't. Which would make sense if you thought about it.

"So you came to me because...?"

"You're the physicians assistant! Do something!"

"I'm not sure there's really anything I can do."

Morgana let out what would have been a very impressive scream towards him.

"Didn't anyone ever warn you?"

"What?"

"If you keep making that face, it'll get stuck that way."

Morgana stomped off, smirk still frozen on her face.

Sometimes Merlin loved his little magic "accidents."


	20. So it broke itself then, did it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "So it broke itself then, did it?" Somethings never change. Especially when it's family.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Sorry it's so late! The cable guy came and fixed our internet though! I just got back from the vets with our new cats Angel and Merlin, they used to be Arthur and Merlin but it didn't happen cause Arthur turned out to be a girl. They're healthy and happy and the new loves of my life!

* * *

Gwen looked at her brother. Really, sometimes he was just ridiculous.

"So it broke itself then, did it?"

Elyan knew that tone. Sod it all.

"Well I didn't do it."

"I'm telling Dad!"

"Nuh-uh! I didn't do it!"

"Yeah you did. You broke my dolly and I'm telling Daddy!"

Elyan spent the afternoon fixing his sister's doll.

* * *

Gwen looked at her brother. Really, sometimes he was just ridiculous.

"So it broke itself then, did it?"

Elyan knew that tone. Sod it all.

Before he knew it, Gwen had him fixing the vase from her new room.

Somethings would never change.


	21. Then why are you killing me off?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Then why are you killing me off?" The Julians are taking things a little too far.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: ;D Just a bit of fun.

* * *

"We don't want you to die. There'll be so much paperwork, but it has to happen."

"But why are you killing me off?"

"Well for the dramatic effect, of course." Julian answered.

Followed closely by Other Julian.

"Yeah, the audience won't be expecting that!"

"Of all the crazy shit we've done they won't expect you to be killed off."

"Plus then we can figure out a new and creative way to work you back into the story, maybe."

"Yeah. It'll be brilliant!"

Colin stared that the Julians.

"But... but I'm the main character!"

"Oh don't worry we'll figure something out."


	22. And this will ensure what again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "And this will ensure... what again?" No drugs were involved in the writing of this. Although I can't say anything for the characters within.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Yeah, it's a filler. So sue me. The next two are brilliant. Modern AU.

* * *

"And that's it?"

"Yep. So just hop over the bridge of doom, remember don't walk, hop. Then crab walk through the valley of fire. After which you're going to skip through the swamp of disease and finally, run streaking through Candyland."

Leon looked at Gwaine uncertainly.

"And this will ensure... what again?"

"It will ensure that the field mice of the land don't turn rabid and try to eat us like last

year. Oh, and you'll win the bet."

Leon pursed his lips in consideration. Merlin stared from the other end of their apartment.

"Gwaine, did you get Leon high?"


	23. So you're what an all powerful sorcerer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "So you're what, an all powerful sorcerer now?" Telling the newly coronated Arthur about his magic is turning out to be more difficult than Merlin anticipated.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: I do so love this one. And if you guys like it too, I'll post the second part this afternoon. Come on I know there are at least 200 hundred of you out there. But I only get about 4 reviews a chapter from my AWESOME faithful readers!

* * *

"So you're what, an all powerful sorcerer now?"

"Yes, yes I am."

Arthur gave him the most insulting look he'd ever seen. Clearly Arthur thought him a loony.

"Right and one day, I'll rule over all of Albion."

"Well actually, yes, yes you will."

"What do I look like Merlin, a nutter?"

"Well, honestly..."

Arthur gave him a sharp look before turning away to get back to his training his knights despite the fact that he should currently be doing other... kingly duties.

"Well guys, since Merlin insists that he's a sorcerer now, we'll use him to practice fighting one."


	24. Are you sure that's the best idea?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Are you sure that's the best idea?" Arthur really needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: PART 2! Yes I know they didn't say kay back then, but it made it just that bit more cheeky.

* * *

"Well guys, since Merlin insists that he's a sorcerer now, we'll use him to practice fighting one."

"Arthur? Are you sure that's the best idea?"

"Nonsense Merlin, if you really are a sorcerer you can hold your own."

Merlin blamed Arthur's grin for "the incident".

"Well okay."

Ten minutes later, Arthur was lying face down in a puddle of mud having not had time to so much as lift his sword and wishing he'd kept his mouth shut.

Merlin grinned down at him before addressing his knights.

"So if you need to fight a sorcerer just come get me. Kay?"


	25. How exactly did you manage this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "How exactly did you manage this?" Because no one can resist a little Kitten!Merlin

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: For those of you who have never had a manx cat, it just means they don't have tails like my darling kittens, Merlin and Angel. Merlin inspired this by being his ridiculously adorable self (the cat and the character).

* * *

"How exactly did you manage this?"

The little kitten he had now identified as his manservant/secret sorcerer glared balefully at him, which only proved to look adorable on the black and white manx.

"You know, you're actually pretty cute. Maybe I should give you to the court ladies. I'm sure they'll have plenty of fun with you."

The kitten's eyes went wide, making a pitiful picture that Arthur deemed completely unfair.

"Oh come on, you already use those damn "puppy dog eyes" on me as a human. You cannot use them as a cat."

In the end, Arthur conceded defeat.


	26. What kind of nutter are you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "What kind of nutter are you?" When Donna Noble met Merlin.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: DONNA! I love Donna. She's so cheeky. BTW If you don't get Donna's last line it's a reference you can ask me about ;)

* * *

The woman, or Donna Noble as she had insisted despite the fact that she said she was not, in fact, a Noblewoman, stared at him a moment longer and burst into laughter.

"Yeah right, like that could be 'the Merlin.' What kind of nutter are you? I mean really, what do think I am some sort of total nitwit."

"Uh, Donna that's _really_ 'the Merlin,' as you put it, and it would seem he really may have magic. How is that possible by the way?"

"Yeah, right alien boy. And I _still_ ain't bothered."

Sometimes, Merlin wondered about his sanity.


	27. Who do you think it was?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Who do you _think_ it was?" The Knights meet Archimedes, Merlin's unruly teenage owl.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: This is a two-parter with chances of more down the line! ;) I do like my Archimedes, he's so sarcastic.

* * *

They had been in the middle of practice when Gwaine had gotten distracted... by an owl.

"I don't see what's got you so enamored Gwaine it's just a bird. And why is there an owl here anyway?"

The rest of them gave shrugs.

"Well I certainly don't want that flea ridden animal around."

"Excuse me? What do you mean flea ridden animal? My Gods."

The group of knights jumped at the unexpected voice turning every which way to find the source.

"Who was that?"

"Who do you _think_ it was?"

They turned to the _talking_ owl and began to scream.


	28. Did that owl just talk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Did that owl just talk?" In which Archimedes is like Merlin's disobedient teenager.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: This one just makes me happy. :)

* * *

Arthur just about had a heart attack."Did that owl just talk?"

"YES."

Then Merlin appeared from inside.

"Archimedes! What have I told you about playing with the less intelligent. I know it's funny to watch them freak out but you shouldn't do it."

"Oh, it was only the knights, besides that rules not fair."

" _Archimedes_."

"What? It's true."

The pair kept arguing as they Merlin walked off, the little owl firmly planted on his shoulder. Just as they disappeared into the castle something occured to Lancelot.

"Did Merlin just call us less intelligent than his owl?"

The others nodded.


	29. I Dream of a Bewitching Wizard preview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Why not?" A sneak peek at the next chapter of I Dream of a Bewitching Wizard. Just a bit of self-advertising. SLASH but only if you read the story!

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine. Neither do I own I Dream of Jeannie or Bewitched. I don't even own the idea, it was prompted. Only the plot is mine!

A/N: You can find the link on my LJ account under the same username. I'm headed to my grandparents. So the update tomorrow will be late. If you do try and read the story, it's SLASH but nothing explicit. That's what was prompted.

* * *

At a loss for words, he used magic instead. One snap of his fingers was all it took to get the start of his revenge.

Meanwhile in the other room, Arthur looked up from his glass of wine, wondering why everything suddenly looked so much bigger. Looking down at himself he realized he was green... and had webbed feet.

Back in the bathroom, Merlin gave his father an indignant look.

"You can't just turn him into a toad!"

"Why not?"

Snapping his fingers, Merlin glared at the man. Daring him. Outside Arthur stared miffed at his glass.

"That's strong stuff."


	30. He's not really this stupid, is he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "He's not really this stupid, is he?" Merlin worries about the future sometime.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Time to pick on Prince Artie!

* * *

"He's not really this stupid, is he? Please tell me he's just pretending he hasn't noticed all the 'mysterious coincidences' and connected it to me having magic." Merlin looked pleadingly at his future self. He wondered sometimes how Arthur could be the 'once and future king' if he was so _oblivious_.

"'fraid not. He's really that dimwitted."

"Oh god we're **doomed**."

" _Right_."

With that both Merlin present and future (or past and present, however you'd like to look at it) took a great swig from their cups of ale.

"Don't even get me started on his magical knowledge. The **moron**."


	31. Who was that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Who was that?" Arthur should believe his Court Sorcerer. Bad things happen when you don't take his threats seriously.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: I don't know what I did, but I only got one review last chapter. Maybe I'm spoiled but I happened to like that one. REVIEW PEOPLE! Laffy Taffy The Grape. This one is for you my lovely, wonderful reviewer! A Sword in the Stone shout out!

* * *

"Who was that?"

"I don't know, but she said this squirrel was Merlin."

The squirrel let out a series of squeaks that could have been an angry monologue if Arthur was inclined to believe the woman who had just handed him the squirrel. Which was now glaring at him.

"Um, maybe we should bring him back with us."

Then it spoke, in his mind.

Arthur, you drop me and I'll turn you into a squirrel, too.

 _Arthur dropped him._

Next thing he knew his knights were staring down at him in awe and poking his fluffy tail.

 _I warned you._


	32. Sire, should I come back later?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Sire, should I come back later?" Uther misses his Queen.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Sad. Angsty. Uther. That's all I'm saying.

* * *

"Sire, should I come back later?"

Uther spun around to stare at his manservant like he'd caught him completely off guard, which by the setting, he had. Manson stared up at the... the shrine before him. Covered in paintings and sketches of the late Queen and filled with pieces of her personal belongings. Hair brushes, jewelry, even a dress hung from the back behind the life-sized portrait that was present in the center of "the shrine."

Manson stared hesitantly at his king and master before making to leave in wake of his master's crazed look.

"I'll just come back later."


	33. Rodents of Unusual Size?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Rodents of Unusual Size?" In which Lancelot learns not to take Gwen on quests.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine. Or Rodents of Unusual Size.

A/N: If you don't get the reference. For shame. FOR SHAME!

* * *

Gwen looked around nervously while Lancelot and herself walked through the Swampy Forest.

"But Lancelot, what about ROUS's?"

"Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist."

Lancelot really shouldn't have said that, as it was that moment a rat the size of a horse attacked.

Gwen of course, took a log the size of her arm and began to beat the thing with it. She ended up hitting Lancelot as often as she hit the rat, but at least she tried.

A few hours later Lancelot looked at Merlin and promptly said, "I'm _never_ taking her anywhere, _ever again_."


	34. What are you doing back there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "What are you doing back there?" Crack, complete and utter crack.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: I was watching Chuck bloopers when Vik Sahay let lose that little gem of a phrase at the beginning and this was formed.

* * *

"Dear mother of holy things! What are you doing back there?"

"Merlin and I are just having a bit of fun. Not our fault you're scared of water. Why do you have to be so serious, Elyan? Huh? Why so serious?"

"Don't rock the boat!"

Somewhere in the background Merlin began to hum.

"What are you now? A choir?"

"Gwaine, this isn't funny! We could die!"

"Well you'd only be mostly dead for a while, eventually you'd come back around on shore."

"I can't swim! And what do you mean mostly dead? There's no in between!"

"That's what you think."


	35. What will you do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "What will you do now?" With the beginning of a second purge, Destiny is thrown out the window.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Breaking Destiny (1/5 of Series) This might become a stand alone story, but I just don't have the time to write in the between and any further right now.

* * *

"What will you do now?"

"I can't stay in Camelot. Lancelot, a second purge will be the end of us all unless... unless we fight back."

Lancelot stared at his friend in fear, knowing what his friend was contemplating.

"Merlin, my friend that could become... messy."

"Don't you think I know that but what else can I do? Uther will kill every last one of us.

He's been angry and scared since Morgana revealed herself and he won't stop. Arthur won't try either. I have to do something."

Lancelot hated the truth in those words.

"Good luck, my friend."

"Bye."


	36. Who was this Emrys?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: Who was this Emrys? With the beginning of a second purge, Destiny is thrown out the window.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Breaking Destiny (2/5 of Series) This might become a stand alone story, but I just don't have the time to write in the between and any further right now.

* * *

Uther was puzzled. Magic users were notorious for working alone. The first purge had only been successful because the enemy had been unable to present a united front.

Yet, according to rumor a great leader had arisen among the magic users. A man who had joined them together as a force and lead them in a resistance of the new purge. Who was this Emrys? It was proving difficult to render any actual information.

Uther would have his revenge on magic for taking his daughter but first this, Emrys, would have to die along with his resistance.

They would pay.


	37. Questions and Occurrences Was some cooperation too much to ask?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: Was some cooperation too much to ask? With the beginning of a second purge, Destiny is thrown out the window.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Breaking Destiny (3/5 of Series) This might become a stand alone story, but I just don't have the time to write in the between and any further right now.

* * *

Merlin loved his people, really he did. But sometimes he hated it here. Everyone looked at him like he was sent from the old religion itself (okay, he had) and expected him to know exactly what to do next. Fights broke out between them every day over some of the pettiest things and he would stop them. He couldn't have his people fighting all the time.

Was some cooperation too much to ask?

But it didn't matter because he wouldn't leave them and every last one of them knew it. It was what made them follow him, not a name.


	38. Did he not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: Did he not? With the beginning of a second purge, Destiny is thrown out the window.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Breaking Destiny (4/5 of Series) This might become a stand alone story, but I just don't have the time to write in the between and any further right now.

* * *

He hated this. His father had just died and the council was demanding peace talks with the magic users. He hadn't even buried his father yet and they wanted a crown on his head. Arthur wanted nothing more than to mourn his father like the boy he was, not the king they wanted.

Yet, he needed to do this for his people. Did he not? Peace talks with the resistance would help Camelot greatly, especially if they could get help from them.

Peace with the people his father had persecuted seemed like a distant impossibility, though.

But Arthur would try.


	39. Merlin? You're? What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Merlin? You're...? What?" With the beginning of a second purge, Destiny is thrown out the window.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Breaking Destiny (5/5 of Series) This might become a stand alone story, but I just don't have the time to write in the between and any further right now.

* * *

Surprised didn't even cover the feelings he now held. He had been surprised when his request for peace talks had been graciously accepted. He had been surprised when the leader found a completely neutral site to hold them on. He had been surprised when the other delegation got there in their greens and browns and a campsite appeared.

When he saw Merlin walk into the negotiations tent he almost passed out in mental rejection of the sight.

"Merlin? You're...? What?" He begged the world to make sense again.

"I thought you'd be surprised but is this really that illogical?"

"YES!"


	40. Wouldn't you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: Wouldn't you? You see, this lifetime, Arthur and his knights had done something, something awful.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: This is for you gatepromise! Inspired by your icon. Check out her profile on LJ!

* * *

In every reincarnation, Merlin remembered first and helped them to remember themselves. Sometimes it took longer but eventually everything worked out.

In the 1990's, it took longer. Mainly because Merlin was having too much fun with it.

Wouldn't you?

You see, this lifetime, Arthur and his knights had done something, something awful.

It wasn't until they remembered that the shame really kicked in. (Well, unless you were Gwaine and didn't have shame.)

You see, they were a boy band.

Merlin had nearly died asphyxiating (read: laughing at them as the horror set in.)

Merlin never let that one go, never.


	41. You know what? No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "You know what? No." WolfAngelDeath finally gets her Merlin!rant at Arthur. :)

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Oh, how I've been waiting for this. If only it would happen in real life.

* * *

"You know what? No. No. I do almost every one of your jobs for you and what do I get in return? You get praise and I'm stuck doing even more work. Forget this. Forget all of it. I quit... Now what? Now how are you going to get all your dragons fought and your armor cleaned? HUH? You're not, that's how! Because I won't be there to do it for you! I have saved your life more times than I can count and I refuse to do another speck of your laundry!"

Arthur stood dazed in his manservant's wake.


	42. And now I will destroy you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "And now I will... destroy you?" Merlin's "captor" isn't very good at the whole hostage thing.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

"And now I will... destroy you?" Glaston glanced back at "his prisoner."

"How was that?"

Arthur and his knights could only watched, boggled as Merlin gave the strange man a two thumbs up.

"Great, you really had me convinced. Maybe put a little more... snarl into it? Try that."

The knigths watched as Glaston made a snarling face that was really more amusing than intimidating. Somewhere to his left, Arthur heard a giggle that sounded suspiciously like Sir Gwaine.

"I don't think this is working."

Merlin gave the man a thoughtful look before replying.

"Yeah, it's really not, is it?"


	43. Oh, could I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Oh, could I?" Arthur should really come to expect these things with Merlin.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: I'm thinking of changing the name so I can expand what kind of drabbles I write. I have a lot of ideas that wouldn't involve a question. Any ideas what to change it to?

* * *

At that Merlin stood up to pat his "captor" on the shoulder.

"Listen,. I know this is the family business and all but maybe it's just not what you should do?"

Glaston looked ready to cry. Merlin began to panic.

"No, don't cry! Maybe you should do something else. You can still do other things and make your family proud. I'm sure they wouldn't be disappointed with anything you choose to do."

Then the idea came.

"Maybe you could join us!"

"Oh, could I?" Glaston's hopeful look alone was bad, then Merlin's turned on Arthur.

Arthur eventually (quickly) gave in.


	44. Was that how it had to be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: Was that how it had to be? Song Drabble using Paramore's Careful.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine. The lyrics of "Careful" belong to Paramore and Fueled by Ramen.

WARNING: Possible **depression** and **suicide triggers**. Be warned.

A/N: Inspired by listening to "Careful" the day after watching this interview:

* * *

 _I settle down_

 _A twisted up frown_

 _Disguised as a smile, well_

 _You would have never known..._

It was amazing really. That no one noticed. He thought it would be obvious, the amount of pain he was in. And yet, everyone of his friends just took a smile and went on their merry way. Was that how it had to be?

Yes.

 _Shifting your weight_

 _To throw off the pain_

 _Well you can ignore it_

 _But, only for so long…_

Just a little longer, then it would be over. Arthur would be king and he could be free from pain.


	45. And what was wrong with that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: And what was wrong with that? Everyone has their secret wishes.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: This is sad, absolutely and devastatingly ironically sad. BUT: Two parter for my birthday tomorrow! It'll be a happy two parter too! Oh AND I updated I Dream of a Bewitching Wizard on the Meme. And I'll add chapter one here today!

* * *

Sometimes, Arthur wished he wasn't Arthur. Sometimes, in the deepest part of his heart, he wished he could be Merlin. Not a care in the world. Always a smile. He didn't have to worry about the fate of an entire kingdom. At most, Merlin had to worry about getting up on time.

And what was wrong with that? We all wish we could be someone else sometimes. Merlin's life seemed perfect from where Arthur sat. Sure he had to follow Arthur all the time, but he was protected from anything truly dangerous, Arthur made sure of it.

Merlin was lucky.


	46. Hey, Merlin? When's your birthday?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Hey, Merlin? When's your birthday?" In honor of my own birthday! A 2-parter!

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

"Hey, Merlin? When's your birthday?"

Merlin froze, before looking at his best friend.

"Now Gwen, why would you want to know a thing like that?"

"Because, I don't know when it is."

Merlin's shifty eyes were setting off warning bells in Gwen's mind. Something was going on here and she was going to find out what.

"Merlin. Your birthday?"

"I... Ummm, well you see... it's"

"Merlin."

Now Gwen may not seem like she could be intimidating, but whoever told you that was lying.

"It's... Saturday."

"MERLIN! THAT'S TODAY! I HAVE NO TIME TO PLAN!"

"Well that was kind of the point."

"Why."


	47. WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS?" A two-parter in honor of my birthday!

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

"Because I didn't want anything! Why is that so hard for people to grasp? It's my birthday whoop-dee-doo, I'll only be 21. It's not that big a deal."

Gwen's eyes widened. Suddenly she was half hanging out the window shouting at the training field and one specific knight in the middle goofing off.

"GWAINE! EMERGENCY MEETING!"

Gwaine's head popped up to look at the window.

"WHY?"

Dear god, did they have to shout it?

"IT'S MERLIN'S BIRTHDAY!"

"WHAT? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS?"

Suddenly the entire training field had burst into chattering. All about his birthday.

Well, shit.


	48. How could he resent that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: How could he resent that? Uther, contrary to popular belief, was not an idiot.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Thank you Shivs! You were anon, so I figured I'd thank you here for the birthday wishes even though I was trying to avoid that! While I'm at it, Sorry WaitingForAKiss the sequel will have to wait. I have a few other drabbles already. I'll write a sequel when I find inspiration though!

* * *

Uther, contrary to popular belief, was not an idiot. Of course he knew the courtiers talked about his dark choice of clothing behind his back. Of course he knew his son was one of the most oblivious people he'd ever met. Of course he knew Merlin had magic.

Also contrary to popular belief, Uther had a heart. If Morgana had told him he would have done anything for her. Maybe even lift the ban on magic. He loved his children dearly.

And Arthur needed Merlin. The boy made Arthur want to be a better person. How could he resent that?


	49. Do I have one of those faces that nobod?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Do I have one of those faces that nobody listens to?" It's Gwen's turn to seek Merlin's advice.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

"I'm so sorry Merlin. I should have listened to you back then. I should have never married Arthur, knowing I loved Lancelot. I'm so sorry."

Merlin's jaw went tense and his brow furrowed.

"Do I just have one of those faces that nobody listens to?"

"Merlin, I'm serious. I don't want anyone hurt. Please, I just... what do I do?"

"Well, if anybody had listened to me in the first place none of this would have happened now would it?"

"No."

"Will you listen this time? There is no way out of this without someone getting hurt, Gwen."

"I'm sorry."


	50. Do I have one of those faces? 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Questions

Title: Questions

Summary: "Do I just have one of those faces nobody listens to?" It's Gwen's turn to seek Merlin's advice.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Yes, the question in part 1 is a variation from Doctor Who. I felt it really kind of applied. Although maybe the dragon should have been saying it. Hmmm? Light Bulb. If you get that reference you're awesome.

A/N 2: Guys! This is Drabble #50! Starting next Drabble it's a second Drabble series called Occurences. I'm running out of questions and I have a few that are better without questions so happy Drabbles!

* * *

"Yes, well. You're going to have to listen, Guinevere."

Gwen flinched at her full name coming from Merlin's mouth. He had never called her by her full name before. It was just one more way she knew she had messed up.

"You're going to have to tell Arthur. There's no way around it. You're going to have to beg forgiveness and give him up. If you can't love him completely, you shouldn't keep hurting him by staying."

Gwen's heart broke at the truth of his words.

If there was any hope for anything happy, she had to tell the truth.


	51. Anything to add?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: "Anything to add?" What I wish would happen at Comic Con.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: In honor of Colin standing up for his character in the round table interview!

* * *

"It's all Merlin's fault. Of course. I mean he poisoned her! What kind of friend is that?"

Colin was going to strangle her. He knew she was his friend. Sure, she was fairly nice.

But that wasn't going to stop him from strangling her.

"Colin? Anything to add? Defend your character? From interviews you have a different opinion."

"Yes, umm... technically none of that would have happened if Morgana hadn't've trusted Morgause over her friends. So really Morgana started it."

Colin couldn't resist a smirk in Katie's general direction as the crowd burst into applause and someone shouted a "Finally!"


	52. From the outside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: ...and watching as always, from the outside.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: I feel ashamed but I loved it too much not to post it. You guys are awesome! I didn't even realize we had hit 200 reviews! *swoons* For all you anon reviewers with no account, I wish I could answer but I don't want to make my A/Ns very long.

* * *

Merlin watched from the window as the knights moved into third position. Gwaine was laughing it up with Elyan as they made faces behind Arthur's back. Leon was shooting them disapproving looks and Percival was mostly just amused by the whole thing, chuckling occasionally. Lancelot stood dutifully at the front of the group with Arthur going through the formal stances.

Off to the side Lady Guinevere stood and watched them with a group of courtiers, giggling at the knights antics.

And here Merlin stood, atop the northern tower. Hunting down another magical creature and watching as always, from the outside.


	53. Arthur? Ribbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: "...Arthur?" Ribbit. WolfAngelDeath is extremely ashamed, but not ashamed enough to not post it.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: It wasn't my idea I swear! It's all PoisiningPigeonsInThePark's fault.

* * *

"...Arthur?"

Ribbit.

Merlin jumped back. Arthur was a toad. Okay that he could handle this. And the Goblin using magic willy nilly all over Camelot. Again.

"Ehehehehe! I see your king ate the apple instead! Well that might disagree later."

Merlin's head shot up to look suspiciously at the goblin.

"What do you mean it'll disagree later?"

RibbHeeHAWWWit.

Merlin gazed at Arthur the toad frog. Did he just... bray?

RiiiiibHeeeeHAWWWWW.

Oh dear god Arthur the toad had just brayed.

As he watched Arthur sprouted giant donkey ears that looked ever so wrong on his little toad body.

Well, shit.

RiiiiibbHEEHAAAAAWWWW..


	54. Uther used to wonder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: Uther used to wonder what made his usually stubborn son give in to his manservant so easily.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: An ode to Uther and the fact that Merlin is both Gaius' ward and practically Arthur's nursemaid sometimes.

* * *

Uther used to wonder what made his usually stubborn son give in to his manservant so easily.

"Don't forget to return your book after a week or you'll be fined."

"I'm the king. I don't pay fines."

Merlin, (because of course he knew his name, he was always _there_ ) gave him a look, a look that reminded him of both Gaius' infamous eyebrow and his nursemaid when he had misbehaved.

His son's manservant should not be unafraid to give him that look.

Uther could already feel his defenses weakening.

"One week, understood."

As the boy nodded approvingly, Uther finally understood.


	55. What are we going to do with him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: "What are we going to do with him?" In which Gwaine and Gwen gang up on Merlin.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: TheJuneBug1218 requested more Papa!Gwaine and Mama!Gwen mothering poor Merlin. It makes me a happy fan.

* * *

Merlin! What happened?"

"I had a cold. But it wasn't bad."

Gwaine gave him a disapproving look.

"Yeah, until you walked around in the rain for three hours."

"I had to find the hogswart!"

This time Gwen joined in the disapproving looks.

"Merlin, that is no excuse to be in the rain. With cold!"

Merlin began to murmur about it "not being that bad."

"Now you go lie down in bed while I make some chicken soup and don't you get up until I say so!"

Merlin sulkily trudged to his room.

"What are we going to do with him?"


	56. So why don't you have a tail?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: "So why don't you have a tail?" The continued adventures of kitty!Merlin.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

"So why don't you have a tail?"

Arthur's only answer was a tiny meow.

So, Arthur headed to Gaius to find out.

The old man glanced up at the sound of his door opening.

"Why doesn't he have a tail?"

While Gaius looked perplexed, he also knew it was better not to ask.

"That would be a manx cat, sire. They have a rare deformity of the spine that makes them tailless. They are said to be highly intelligent and loyal cats. They're also very fierce in my experience."

"Fierce? Well Merlin, you obviously got turned into the wrong animal."


	57. That's Merlin, Sire?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: "That's Merlin, Sire?" Gaius meets kitty!Merlin.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: I had it written, I swear. Paperlegends sucked me in and I couldn't stop reading the new fic!

* * *

Gaius rubbed his nose in frustration.

"That's Merlin, Sire?"

"Yes, Gaius. It was strange. We were talking one moment and the next he was a kitten."

Gaius' eyebrow went well into his hairline as he looked at Merlin the kitten. To which, Merlin only meowed pitifully to indicate that he actually hadn't had anything to do with it.

"Well Merlin, what have you gotten yourself into this time?"

At this the kitten seemed to... pout?

"You do seem to get into a lot of trouble. Don't you Merlin?"

Hissing could be heard from the table Arthur had dumped his manservant on.


	58. Your precious little manservant ha magic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: "Your precious little manservant has magic." *head/desk* This is so stupid, yet so hilarious.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

"Your precious little manservant has magic." Morgana's sickeningly sweet little girl voice was grating on Arthur's nerves, just as it always had.

"Well, of course he does. Even a blind man could figure that out! Hell, father has figured that out. He's also obviously on our side. I wouldn't count on winning, if I were you."

The room froze. All eyes turned to Uther, who shrugged.

"The boy's good at hiding neither his magic nor his intentions. It's rather reassuring."

Meanwhile, Merlin had finished choking on air.

"Thank the Gods!"

"We're not stupid, Merlin."

"Well, you had me worried."


	59. Magic, sire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: "Magic, sire." Well, that's one way to tell, him.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: I don't know where this came from, but I like it.

* * *

Arthur, Merlin, and the knights of the round table stared at the multitude of armed guards in front of them.

"If anyone has any ideas, I don't even care what they are!"

"Really?"

"YES, REALLY!"

"So we couldn't, say... be punished later for anything that entails?"

The glare Arthur sent his manservant could have killed a lesser man.

"No. You can't be punished for it later."

"Perfect! Give me a moment!"

"Merlin we don't have a..."

With a snap of Merlin's fingers, they were in the forest.

"...moment."

The knights stared incredulously at their surroundings.

"Merlin?"

"Magic, Sire."

"Ah."

Silence.


	60. Oh, hey Dad!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: "Oh, hey Dad! Sorry it's been a couple days, we were out on a stroll and accidentally conquered a kingdom. Well, see you at dinner!"

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

Arthur, Merlin and the Knights of the Round Table had been on a simple hunt when it happened.

Merlin had been kidnapped, which was actually a first but none of them were going to stand for it.

One thing led to another, and Arthur might have accidentally conquered an entire kingdom.

What was he supposed to tell his father?

"Oh, hey Dad! Sorry it's been a couple days, we were out on a stroll and accidentally conquered a kingdom. Well, see you at dinner!"

Arthur banged his head on the wall of his newly conquered castle.

He was so screwed.


	61. Merlin has admirers? Weird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: Arthur had never considered Merlin in the context of a life outside Arthur's. Especially not with admirers.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

Arthur had never really thought about Merlin in any other context besides his manservant. He didn't know what the idiot did besides clean his room and play with his knights. He hadn't assumed the boy... man had time for anything else.

Until he over heard a giggling gaggle of girls from the kitchen talking about his manservant.

"Merlin's so sweet, if only he weren't so oblivious when it came to flirting."

"I think you're being too subtle. He got it when I flirted with him."

"That's because you tried to sit in his lap."

"Still worked."

Merlin had admirers? _Weird_.


	62. By count, Uther had tried to kill Merlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: By count, Uther had tried to kill Merlin seven times.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: *Stares at you guys* I FEEL SO ASHAMED! *runs and hides* It's been three days! *blushes* And I can't even blame Real Life! LJ and Fandom kidnapped me! I wrote a Doctor Who ficlet to support a new community and wrote ~2.5k words of I Dream Of A Bewitching Wizard and haven't slowed down yet. All in the three days I was missing! I have more drabbles and will now be setting an alarm on my phone to tell me to update. *facepalm*

* * *

By count, Uther had tried to kill Merlin seven times.

First he had tried burning the boy. Which had only resulted in the boy needing new clothes when he informed the citizens of Camelot that Dragons do not burn and neither do dragonlords, after the flames died.

Then there had been lobed off heads, stabbings, drownings, suffocation, and they had even tried to bury him alive.

Eventually Uther had the boy brought before the court.

"WHY WON'T YOU DIE?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. I'm immortal."

Uther developed a tic in his left eye and sighed.

"I give up."


	63. The adventures of Stalker Vivian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: The continued adventures of Stalker!Vivian and the Long-Suffering!Slag

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

"You know this could be considered spying, right?"

Vivian shot Slag a dirty look that clearly meant 'shut up.'

"We could be thrown in the dungeons for this."

"Slag, you worry far too much. My love would never throw me in the dungeons."

"If you say so."

Vivian continued to stare longingly at Arthur from behind the column.

"If he's so in love with you, why are we hiding behind a column?"

"Slag."

Unfortunately, Slag had spent to much time stalking with her, the glare didn't faze him.

"And why do we have to squat anyway? My legs are cramping."


	64. And Long Suffering Slag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: The continued adventures of Stalker!Vivian and the long suffering!Slag. (2/2)

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Sorry guys, I do have the drabbles, but I'm a little busy getting ready to move in to my new dorm room. *Gets distracted by Lion King commercial*...Anyway, So, updates will be spotty. Then I have to get back into classes and Rush a Sorority. It's going to be harrowing but worth it. And GUYS! Doctor Who is coming back! *flails* Steven Moffat is an evil genius and I CANNOT wait to see what he has planned. Evil man, "Haven't you figured that one out yet?" Cheeky s*d.

* * *

"Obviously that's your own fault. I conceded that we were stalking, so you have to squat. You can't stalk someone properly without squatting."

"But why?"

Vivian gave him an exasperated look.

"Slag, we are stalking a Prince and the best hunter in the land. We can't just stalk about willy nilly!"

Slag gave her a dubious look, remarkably similar to the ones Merlin gave Arthur.

Before he could answer, the Prince of Camelot interrupted their conversation.

"We do know you're there. You realize that right."

"QUICK SLAG, ABORT, ABORT! WE'VE BEEN DISCOVERED!"

Down the hall, Merlin snickered at Arthur's misfortune.


	65. Arthur was not jealous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: Arthur was not jealous. Except that he was.

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

A/N: Half of a fill for this KMM Prompt:

* * *

Arthur was _not_ jealous. Not of his Lancelot. He was _definitely_ not jealous because he had been taking up all of Merlin's time since the Knights of the Round Table arrived at Camelot.

Except, he _was_ jealous. Merlin had always been _his_. _His_ manservant. _His_ questing partner. His _best friend_.

Until Lancelot had arrived and begun taking up all of Merlin's time, taking him on quests and stealing him away while Arthur was caught up being Prince Regent.

Merlin used to be there all the time. Now he was nowhere to be found. Arthur hated Lancelot for taking him away.


	66. Arthur I know we've had this talk before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Occurrences

Title: Occurrences

Summary: "Arthur, I know we've had this talk before. We do not upset, hurt, dishearten, harshly insult, or offend the Merlin."

Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own Merlin or any of these characters. They belong to BBC and Shine.

* * *

"Arthur, I know we've had this talk before. We _do not_ upset, hurt, dishearten, harshly insult, or offend the Merlin. He is an all mighty, all powerful wizard who can smite you with a thought and has _feelings_."

Gwen brandished a scroll above her monarch's head. Said monarch looked thoroughly chastised.

Somewhere else in the castle, Gwaine was tending to a disheartened Merlin after another one of Arthur's blunders.

"Now you're going to go out there and apologize to him. He's kept you alive this long and he deserves some respect."

"Yes, Gwen." Arthur hung his head and left.

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream at me on [tumblr!](http://causteek.tumblr.com)


End file.
